I Don't Do Lonely Well
by HolleringHawk65
Summary: The holidays are obviously going to be hard for Chris. But will he get what he needs on Christmas morning? Light yaoi, ChrisXPiers pairing As usual, I think the genres are slightly off :/ One-shot/Complete!


**_Pre Author's Note:_** My first fic with lyrics! Anyways, this is (kinda obviously) prompted by listening to 'I Don't Do Lonely Well.' I think that it really can be applied to Chris after RE6, especially if he had actually been in a relationship with Piers (as in this fic.) I own nothing!

Hope y'all like it and please review! It really helps my writing to get feedback! :)

P.S. I used to have some of the lyrics on here, but I was kindly reminded that that's against Fanfiction's rules, so I edited them out. The different parts were prompted by lyrics and they were out of order, but if you really want to hear the song, I'm sure you can find it on youtube if you don't have it :)

* * *

**_Chris-Saturday_**

I came home from work early. Not because I wanted to, but Jill and Barry had forced me to; I hadn't been to the apartment in nearly three days.

I skillfully avoided the main bedroom as usual, instead going to the guest bedroom where I had started keeping everything of mine. I took a quick shower before going to the living room and flipping the TV on.

The eleven o'clock news was on, already talking about post-Christmas sales that were likely to start Thursday.

Christmas was less than a week away. It would mark the year anniversary of Edonia-the beginning of the end.

I started flipping through the channels, trying to find something to take my mind of off Christmas but there was no point-even the horror channels had Christmas on. I turned off the TV and was faced with eerie, unbearable, silence.

I jumped as the phone started ringing. I leaned over and picked it up as I saw Jill's home phone number light up on the screen.

"Hi," I said, trying to mask the all too familiar feeling that was coursing through me.

"Hey! I just wanted to make sure you were still coming Tuesday," she told me. "Sammy would love to see her godfather."

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" I asked her before I realized what Jill must think. "I'm not drinking again," I told her.

"I didn't say you were. I just wanted to make sure so I knew how many plates I should set," she explained. "I'm taking off until January second, so I'll see you Tuesday. Let me know if you need anything before that."

"Do you want me to bring anything?" I asked her.

I heard her sigh. "I just want you to bring yourself, alright?"

"Jill, cut the crap and give me something to bring," i told her.

"Fine. I put in an order at the bakery down the street from you. You can pick it up," she told me.

"Alright, Jill, see you Tuesday. Tell Carlos I said hi," I told her before hanging up.

I got up and went over to the radio. I barely used it anymore; Piers had bought it and brought it when he moved it in.

I swallowed before flipping it on. It'd been nearly six months but I knew that time wouldn't be able to heal what I felt. Instead, all I could hope for is a mission I wouldn't come back from next year.

* * *

_**Chris-Sunday**_

The morning found me strewn across the open couch bed, the radio still on and playing country music. I was awoken by heavy knocking on my door, and was subsequently forced to push myself off of the bed and stumble over to the door.

I opened it, half expecting it to be Jill, but I was more surprised by who it turned out to be.

"Sheva!" I hugged the African woman, picking her up as I did. "What are you doing stateside?" I asked her.

"I just wanted to see you," she told me. "A visit was long overdue."

"I know, I'm sorry, I meant to call you-"

"Apologies are not needed, Chris. Honestly, it's fine. I figured face to face would be better then over the phone, especially with the reception I get in Africa."

I chuckled before hugging her again; it was just so good to see her again. "Has anyone told you you have perfect timing?" I asked her.

She smiled. "I wouldn't go that far, but I appreciate the compliment," she told me.

"How have you been?" I asked her. "Is the West African branch still busy?"

She shook her head. "Not really. Some of us went to China to help with relief work after..." She looked down; I could tell she felt guilty.

"Please, don't stop on account of me," I told her.

"I know you two were close, that you were dating. He was so upset after you left the hospital, not to mention worried sick about you. He had his own injuries-" she stopped short. "Why am I even talking about this? It won't help anything, will it? Chris, I'm so sorry," she hugged me this time. "I just don't know what to say."

_Just one more person who has said that._ "To tell the truth, I don't know what to do."

Her right hand slid down to my left hand as she pulled out of our third hug. "It's alright. How can I help?"

"I'm not sure anyone can anymore," I confessed. "I haven't been in our room since August."

"That's alright. I see that the pictures of you two are still up," she told me.

"I can't take them down. I don't want to admit he's actually gone."

She nodded, listening to me unlike Jill or Claire-both were urging me to move on, to make it seem as if Piers had never mattered to me in the way he did.

"Do you want to go get some brunch? I'm starving," she told me.

"Yeah, that sounds good right now. Just let me get dressed for the public eye," I tried to joke. Sheva smiled at me.

A few minutes later and the two of us were walking down to my truck. "Have you been to I-Hop?" I asked her.

"No, but I have heard if it. It _is_ the famed _'International House of Pancakes,'_" she reminded me as I put the key onto the ignition of my Ford.

"Did that belong to Piers?" Sheva asked me as we passed a Jeep with a B.S.A.A. sticker on the back window.

"Yeah, I still don't have the heart to sell it," I told her. "I must sound like a real sap."

"No, you're sentimental. There's nothing wrong with that; after everything you've gone through, I'd be holding on to the little things, too," she told me.

I glanced at the Jeep in the rearview mirror. Was it stupid to have that sitting in a parking spot that I pay for, not to mention the insurance? Despite Sheva telling me it was fine, I was starting to think I was a fool.

We went to I-Hop but by now, I'd lost most of my appetite. I forced myself to eat pumpkin pancakes and drink the coffee only because Sheva was there. If she hadn't, I probably would've just sat at the booth table, staring at the menu.

But she was there, so I had to be happy. For the first time in a while, I wasn't alone outside of work. There was a person here who I loved being around, who made me smile. I found myself staring at her.

_She probably wouldn't be here if Piers was still alive,_ the darker part of my mind-which sounded strangely like Wesker-reminded me. _I wouldn't have put it past Claire to have called Sheva and begged her to check in on you, because, let's face it; nearly every night you want to go to a bar and wallow in your misery. But you think that that's defeating the purpose of Piers' sacrifice. You are a wimp._

"Chris, are you alright?" Sheva asked me.

"Fine," I muttered under my breath.

She reached over the table and took my hands into hers. "I'm not an idiot, but if you don't want to talk about, I won't force you to."

"Thank you," I told her. "Did you like your pancakes?"

She nodded. "I just love chocolate chips and banana together. What about you? Did you like your pumpkin?"

"Yeah, it was good," I told her.

We split the check and tip and went back to my apartment. We drove in comfortable silence-it didn't seem so scary when I was with somebody else. At home, I quickly deduced that there was a bit of an issue.

Sheva, being the guest, would stay in the _guest_ bedroom. That meant that I would have to sleep on the couch every single night while she stayed, unless I was to go into the master bedroom.

_Our_ bedroom.

"I think I'm gonna try to sleep off this jet lag," Sheva told me, walking towards the guest bedroom. I guess it was a good thing that I was barely here to make a mess of the place.

When I heard the door close, I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes. Getting sleep last night hadn't gone very well and I _needed_ the shuteye.

* * *

_**Chris-December 24, 2012**_

Piers cried out my name as his fingers dug into the pillow. After a few minutes, he moved around so he was lying next to me. He inched closer so our bodies were touching once more, and slowly kissed my lips.

"Chris, I love you," he whispered into my ear when he was done.

"I love you, too." In truth, I cared about him more then those three little words could ever explain. Piers was my first relationship I'd had in a long time that had lasted over two weeks. In fact, January fourth would mark our six month coming-out anniversary.

I could feel the grin on his lips as he pulled away and straddled me. He leaned over me, his lips teasing mine. I let him do what he wanted for a while, loving the little things he did. Eventually, I pulled him down on top of me completely, kissing the man I loved more than life.

He groaned again as I sucked on his bottom lip. My left hand felt along his back while my right stayed firmly planted in his brown hair.

I loved the moments like this; in the middle of the night, where we were both different from the way we were in front of the rest of Alpha team. We could just be _us._ Piers wasn't uptight, and I didn't have to be Captain (except for those nights that we have every once and awhile, but that's beside the point.)

After another makeout session, Piers relaxed in my arms. He used my chest as a pillow, which was completely fine with me. I just liked having Piers here, right next to me. I didn't like thinking about the alternative.

* * *

_**Chris-Monday**_

I woke up at one o'clock in the morning, and I instantly knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I got up and flicked on the lamp light, searching around for my laptop. I found it and sat on the leather chair-that couch was going to end up being the death of me.

Wide awake, I finished up a few reports among other necessary work things. By the time I was done it was five-thirty. I kind of hoped that Sheva would wake up soon so I would have somebody to talk to, but I would be able to understand if she didn't.

I sat on the couch for a few minutes, staring at the screen. Before I could reason with myself, I was bring up the pictures I had on this computer.

Nearly all of them were of Piers. I had a few of Claire, Jill, Carlos, and Sammy, and even two or three of myself (with Piers), but most of them were of _just_ Piers.

Even if the pictures were just of him working on his laptop, or playing video games, they felt like they were everything.

I swallowed hard before wiping my eyes. Looking down at my hands, I saw my fingertips were wet. _Damn it! After all this time and_ now _I'm still crying?_

I shut the laptop before it could provoke anymore emotions.

A couple minutes later, Sheva came out of the guest bedroom, apparently fresh from taking a shower because her long, dark brown hair was wet.

"Chris, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost," she told me.

Her remark caused me to smile. "You have no idea, Sheva."

She tilted her head but didn't say anything. Instead, she went over to the fridge. "Do you have anything to make a decent breakfast with?" she asked as she opened the door.

"Probably not. There might be eggs and milk in there, but I'm not sure. I usually just have breakfast at the base," I explained to her.

She sighed. "You must live there more then here, right? I bet you know the place better then anyone else."

"I can't tell if that's supposed to be sarcasm or not," I told her.

"That was me stating a fact," she informed me. She opened my freezer were she let out a sigh of relief when she saw sausage. "Eggs and sausage... Sounds good to me, how about you?"

"That's good," I said to her as I came over to help her.

_It's been a while since I've been in the kitchen... I think the last thing I did was make something with Sammy... I hope I don't mess up in front of Sheva..._

We started working together, falling into old routines. Sometimes we would both turn around and then bump into each other, but I was fine with that. We didn't speak much, another thing that was alright with me.

After breakfast, I needed to go back to the base, and Sheva decided that she wanted to see it. So we went, I showed her around, and then I left her with Barry because I needed to talk to the "Government Supervisor"-meaning the douche that the new president had decided needed to be here to make sure we 'stayed inside U.S. regulations.'

Regardless.

The blonde seemed too cheery to be a government agent. Like Sherry Birkin except not quite. She was probably a little bit older, too.

"I'm Chris Redfield," I told her, holding out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Ashley Graham," she introduced herself.

My head tilted at the sound of the name. "Are you the girl Leon had to go rescue back in '04?"

She blushed. "That's me! So I guess you know..."

I nodded.

"Good." She gave me a smile and then the two of us sat down. She was talking to me about the policies that I'd already reviewed. "Agent Redfield, I get the feeling you're not really here..." She told me after a while. "Should we reschedule?"

I looked over to her. "No, I apologize. An important day is coming up soon and I'm still figuring out how to react to it.

Ashley nodded. "I get the same feeling when the day I was kidnapped rolls around. I always get jittery, but on the actual day I calm down. I guess it's because I have a lot of good friends-like Leon-who call me. I'm sure you'll be fine."

I got the feeling that she didn't understand the full scope of the 'important day'.

"Let's just finish this up. I have a friend to entertain," I explained to her.

"Okay," she said in a sing-songy voice.

How could one person be so chipper?

We finally finished everything at around 12 o'clock. I was beyond glad to get out of that room with Ashley. I set off to find Sheva and then we went into town to kill some time walking through stores for some last minute shopping.

* * *

**_Chris-Tuesday_**

I am proud to say we were ready to go to Jill's house-I had even remembered to pick up the order from the bakery.

And it went relatively fine, too. We sat around and told appropriate stories in front of Sammy-Sheva and Carlos told the better ones-and began exchanging gifts since they were having Jill's parents over the next day. Jill and Carlos had gotten me a tie, which I guess was alright though I didn't really wear them, and Sheva had gotten me a decoratorial knife.

But it was Sammy's gift that almost made me want to go home.

It was a drawing of stick figure family that consisted of me, a cat, and Piers.

The brunette was sitting on my lap as I looked at it. "Uncle Piers made that last year. He said that was his perfect home," she told me, not actually understanding where Piers was _now_. "He won't have his perfect home without you."

I gulped.

"Alright Sammy-girl, time to get you to bed. Just think, in the morning Santa Claus will have come!" Carlos told her as he picked his daughter up.

"I think it's time I get going," I told Jill. "Sheva, are you coming home with me?"

"Yep!" she got off of the couch. "Thank you for having me, Jill, it was lovely seeing you."

"It was a pleasure seeing you, too," she told the African before Sheva went off to get her coat and boots on. "Are you going to be alright?" Jill asked me.

I was so _sick_ of that question. "Yeah. Merry Christmas, Jill. See ya in a couple of days."

She came over and hugged me. "See ya, Chris."

I went to the coat closet where Carlos was saying good bye to Sheva.

"Adios Chris," he said to me, patting me on the back.

"Bye Carlos, I hope you can make it through tomorrow," I told him, referring to the fact that the elder Valentines hated that their daughter married a former assassin, even though many could argue Carlos was the best choice for Jill.

He laughed at what I had said. "I'll try," he said a smile still on his face. "You have a good Christmas, too."

"We will!" Sheva happily told him before grabbing my hand.

* * *

_**Chris-Wednesday**_

I was lying down on the bed in the master bedroom. I hadn't done it since... August, I guess.

I was restless for a while, but I was finally able to catch a bit of sleep after pretending a bunch of pillows were Piers, and I had my arms around them.

It was still dark outside when I felt something shift on the bed. A familiar weight rested on me, and I instinctively reached up to comb spiky, brown hair.

"Piers?" I asked softly, my hands running down to feel his muscles. I was going crazy. I had to be going crazy.

"Hi," his words were whisper soft as he leaned forward and nuzzled my jaw.

I felt him over again and he shuddered. "Chris, I missed you so much."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. I took a deep breath, my face buried in the crook of his neck.

"Please don't let this be a dream," I told him.

He chuckled. "I promise you I'm not a dream."

I kissed him. "I love you so much."

It was a mess of touches and kisses for the rest of the night. When the morning came, it revealed Piers had scars from the virus, but I could care less. He was Piers.

"Baby," I said softly, rubbing his thighs. His hips reacted and he arched forward.

"Before we... Do anything, I think I should know where you were," I told him.

He sighed, resting his hands and chin on my chest. "I woke up on an island off of China, where the South African branch was cleaning up. Sheva recognized me and she took me to the hospital. They told me that I was out of it for a couple of days, but I'm alright now. The virus is dormant, and they tell me I'm completely stable."

"And Sheva knew you were alive the entire time?"

"She didn't want to tell you in case I… ya know, wasn't…"

I kissed his head. "But you are, and that's all that matters."

He smiled against my chest. "Merry Christmas, Cap'n."

"Merry Christmas, Piers."

* * *

**_Post Author's Note:_** So that may or may not have sucked. But I have been writing this off and on since the middle of August, so that might be a reason for it being a bit choppy.

(I've said this one before) Please review!

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to everyone that reads this!

~_HolleringHawk65_


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